Recent---Me

Erm... Raining day... 

Everyday also raining... 

Recently really happened a lot of things.. 

I just cannot imagine/expect that he will text me... & call me.. 

is just like a dream... 

Is not that I hope he text or call.. Just really didn't even think of it. 

As this is not his pattern... As he cruel enough when he break up with me... 

Last Saturday.. we do talked a lot... 

our issue... our break up... 

Yeap.. He just said don"t want to be regret when in future... Cannot let go... Cannot without me.. 

Those words is never out from his mouth... U know what.. From last time I know him, He told me that " In this world, no one cannot live without someone "... Imagine now he say something different pula... lol.. 

Sound unbelievable right? When hearing what he say, my heart more even pain... Why now only know such thing? Is it you don't know how to appreciate & once you lost it, then you awake & wish to appreciate? 

Sigh... 

Why break up also not call me but last Saturday he said got something need to talk then call me? 

At that moment, I not even think of he want to come back to me.. 

Sigh... Our problem really seems a lot... Distance la.. Trust la... Broken heart la... Lol... I do really scare.. If I get back again, I will get hurt again... 

Because of his anger... we are apart... Because of his anger, he screwed up everything... 

I really don't want go back to the life anymore.. Those only me sacrifice.. Those only I'm passionate... 

Those only I tolerate.. Because of your one word : FREEDOM... we break up... Sound ridiculous... 

I wish to go back as we start our relationship... but I know... is more harder now... 

I wish we have : LOVE... TOLERATE... JEALOUSY... CARING... 

I do believe that if one person being put in one dark box longer time, the person will be get use of the darkness... 

Cause I do experienced it.. 

because of my passionate... because of my love... 

he become get use of it.. Step on me... Not respect me as a GF... 

He forgot.. how to love me.. how to care me... 

I didn't mean he not love me... Just u know... Human always enjoying others people care... 

Now... I really cannot accept it so freely... 

Really cannot... Because what he gave me last 8 months... really torturing.... suffering... 

Sigh... Really need time to cure my broken heart.. 

I can't say we impossible get back together... but in meantime.. I really cannot... too many issues raise up if we stick back together... 

Isn't it we need to fix all the problems before get back? 

Ya... This is in my mind... 

I can't say I want both of equally love each others.. but at least.. should reach a point that both of us are comfortable together with each others.. Balanced.... 

Actually I know.. all thing cannot be fully blamed on him... 

As I know my characteristic sometimes just something wrong.. hahaha... 

My jealousy is damn high level!! I don't like he being like this.. being like that... 

But, He also same lo... lol... Jealousy also damn high... 

Aiksss... 

I don't know what to do... What should do... 

I just leave it to be... Let it flow.... 

See what he can do... What he trying to do.. 

His effort... His changes... 

IF really can make me felt touched... I really will consider... 

Just matter of time... Lets time to prove everything.. 

If we meant to be together, definitely will be together...